Last Entry

Dun Dun Dun Duuunnn

Well, this is my last entry on this blog, actually my last required entry, I could continue to do it but I'm still thinking about it.

I hope you have enjoyed this blog as much as I, sometimes, enjoyed writing in it. You took a good look at me and my thoughts and feelings. You catched a little glimpse of what's in my heart and my outlook on life.

This will be short. I have to get a piece of my birthday cake haha.

I will truly appreciate some feedback through here or to my e-mail, leave a comment and I'll reply.

Take care,
Perla Mtz. P.

It's my birthday!

Helloooooooo everybody!

I write to you in this, my second to last entry, to let you know that today is my birthday!

It started out awesome, well, sort of because I was stressed for the looong assignment I had to finish, anyways, at 00:00 AM three of my friends got to my house and started singing "Las Mañanitas" with a guitar along with the car stereo playing the song, I almost cried because I'd always wanted serenata and they did it! They also gave me a pink zippo with the word Princess on purple letters written on it, it's so cute and girly-girl like.

I kept getting phone calls during the night, it didn't bother me that much because I was up till like 4:30 finishing my homework, I woke up at 10 and around 11:30 two of my friends picked me up and took me out for lunch, they also baked me a cake, chocolate.... *drool*

I plan to go out to eat with my mom and then go to the movies with my best friend :D It's going to be cool to see my friends at school also.

I'm so happy, it's my birthday :D

"Go shorty,

it's your birthday
we're going to party like it's your birthday"
~ In Da Club (50 cent)

The Magical Instant

[...]discover that magical instant. That moment exists: a moment in which all the strenght of the stars goes through us and allows to make miracles. That magical instant in the day helps us to change, it makes us go after our dreams. We're going to suffer, we're going to have hard times, we're going to face many disappointments..., but all that comes to pass and won't leave bruises. And in the future we'll be able to look back with pride and faith.
Feel sorry for the one that is afraid to take risks. Because he won't face disappointments, or hard times, nor will he suffer like the ones that follow their dreams. But when he looks back - because we always look back - he will hear his heart saying: "What did you do with the miracles that were planted in your life? What did you do with the gifts you were given? You buried them deep down because you were afraid to lose them. Then, that's you inheritance: the certainty that you have wasted your life away".
Feel sorry for the one that hears these words. Because he, then, will believe in miracles, but the magical instants in his life are going to be long gone."

~By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept (Paulo Coelho)

I have always believed that life is about taking risks, making changes.

This book really shows that. Like any other Paulo Coelho book this one makes you think, it makes you ponder on things, aside from the fact that it's kind of what you'd consider a religious book or more like an spiritual book because it talks a lot about God. They always leave you reflecting on something, on a certain situation that you have probably experienced before.
I know that this book helped a lot to understand and overcome a certain situation that I have already talked about way toooo much, so you probably get the idea already.

Out of the eleven books that he's published, well I only know about eleven, I've read seven and I truly recommend them.

Back on my first line, I was having a conversation with a friend about love and risks and she told me that she saw no point in getting married nor in having a deep relationship because if it didn't work out you'd have to go through a very painful experience and blah blah, things like that. I told her that I thought life was about risking and even more so love and that you'd try to make it work as much as you could and if at the end it didn't turn out the way you expected it, well, you tried and you tried your hardest and all you have to do is stand back up again, hold your head high and keep on going because that's what life is all about, the stumbling and the falling, the healing and the moving on. She didn't understand and I didn't try to change her ideas. We all see the world with different eyes and whatever works for each one of us is good.

"He who loves, conquers the world. He is not afraid to lose everything. True love is the act of complete and total dedication to another one."

We come and go... like the wind

It's funny how we come and go and come back again for more.

I keep picturing in my head what it'd be like if I were to see him one more time. Would my heart skip a beat the same way it did whenever I saw him? Would he still dazzle me with his smile? Would he kiss me like he used to, tender and fiery, again?

I would keep forgetting to focus, to keep my balance and even to breathe when he was near me.

That is how intoxicating he was. That is how much of an addict I was to him. That is how powerful we were together.

But we come... and go... and he came and went away, like the wind.

I remember every single detail. I remember his warm embrace, his silky hair and his topaz eyes. I remember the same old tennis shoes, which I always made fun of. I remember his family, his dog, his house, the room I stayed in. I remember Christmas break in Lake Tahoe and summer in Las Vegas. I remember his scent and his tattoos. I remember that fateful starry night and my opal ring. I remember his embrace.

But it's like I don't know him anymore.

"I just can't do this anymore. It seemed easy at first." Easy was four years ago. "I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you, my heart feels different." Our hearts, they beat to the same rhythm, remember? "I feel like I can't talk to you anymore, like we can't communicate. We argue a lot." No, we don't. We mess around, silly games, y'know that, don't you? "I've been feeling different about certain stuff for a while now". I did not know that.

Fate brought us together, fate will keep us together.

I'm not so sure anymore. It's probably not going to happen at all.

And I ask myself. What went wrong? What did I do wrong? What did we do wrong?

The truth is, I didn't do anything wrong, we didn't do anything wrong. Nothing went wrong... it just went. Yet this time, you won't be like the wind... you won't come back.

Even though sometimes I feel like I need you to come back, this time... I hope I'll learn from you, like I did so many times before.

I came back and went again... that's where I remain, because, this time, I'm the one that goes.

I'm really proud of this

Just like the ones you've seen below, this article is also mine. It got published in August 2006 in the newspaper Diario de Tampico Milenio. Enjoy!

Every year, there are more than 4 million pregnancies in Mexico and almost 40 % of these are unwanted. Aproximately 17% of those end up in abortion. The woman's right to abort has been one of the most controversial matters of the past 50 years. Until 1980-81 they tried to pass a law where abortion, under any circumstance, was allowed whithin the first quarter of the pregnancy, but a great number of people felt that this was a mistake and it didn't go any further. Many people think abortion is wrong. Many people try to push their beliefs into others. This goes out to everyone, but especially young adults like myself who think that this is none of their business, you're wrong. Many of you are already old enough to vote, to make your own decisions. This important, no matter how old are you.

I'm not saying that those who are pro-life or anti-abortion are wrong, I understand where you come from. But, after a lot of research and debate, I can't understand how can someone allow a law to take control of their body. Many times, people who are against abortion will say that if you're going to have sexual relationships you should take care of yourself first and that anyone who already had an abortion should have done the same. Did you know that, statistically speaking, many of the abortions are practiced on woman who were using some kind of birth control? These methods are not 100% effective. Even those like the DIU have a fringe of about 2%, the patch has one around 1% and the pills around 1% to 5%. Not even sterilization is completely effective.

Many think that adoption can also be an option. But adoption is not an easy process. Women who are planning to do this still have to go through the nine months pf pregnancy. Pre-natal care and natural birth can cost between $10000 and $15000 pesos. A C-section can cost up to $25000 pesos. This doesn't include the money you spend on maternity clothes, doctor appointments (before and after the pregnancy). We also have to take in account that not all kids are adopted. Adoption is an alternative to adoption, yes. But what about the thousands of kids that will never be adopted. Who looks out for them? Who's going to support them?

It is commonly said that abortion equals murder. That the fetus is a human life and abort it is like killing a human being. There is no way to determine when a fetus is conscious of something. Some people think that life begins at the moment of reproduction, some think that it's called life until you're born. A fetal heart doesn't start beating until the 6th week, when it until measures around 2 to 4 mm. And it doesn't begin to look human until the 12th week. Almost 90% of abortions should be practiced whithin the first quarter. An abortion practiced after the 24th week is extremely rare and should only be done under serious medical conditions. These facts destroy the image anti-abortionists want to show: that one of a murdered little baby.

Every woman has the right to decide whether she wants a kid or not. If you agree or not it's not the point. The point is to allow women to take control of their bodies. This is a call to consider the legalization of abortion and in a few years, we'll be responsible to keep it that way.

Flip the other side of the coin.

-on the immigration debate and the wall on the border-

It is known that the plans that the US goverment is trying to put into action are as ridiculous as the wall they're building on the border and as good as giving out legal permits for temporary workers and for people that have been living there for years, nonetheless, the only viable solution can be that one where the two goverments reach a mutual agreement: How fast can we get to that point? or can we get there at all.

We can't deny that the living condition in our country is terrible, but the reality is that no one does anything about it. Instead, our goverment ignores it and allows more and people the illegal entrance to the neighboring country, harming those who are already established there.

It is a fact that we can't dissemble the actions our country has been taking nor those of the people who cross illegally, and mark the word, illegally. In this case, the end does not justify the means and they keep violating the US' federal laws. It's true that they need a new law or a reform (or several of them) regarding their immigration system, but that doesn't mean that it is allowed to ignore another nation's authority over their lands. The US goverment is not charity, they don't have to allow the illegal entrance to their country and it is not their fault that our goverment offers such bad living conditions.

It's easy to believe that the neighboring country is evil and racist for not wanting to give our fellow mexicans a chance for "a better life for them and their families" but in most cases is not only the 'gringos' the ones against that but also those illegal immigrants that have been settled over there for the longest and that are waiting to become American citizens, but when you allow the illegal crossing and you give them almost the same rights as those that are waiting to become citizens, you're sending the message of "waiting for the permanent residency is a waste of time and money because you can live almost the same being illegal."

We all know that when you repeat a lie for a long period of time, it ends up looking like the truth. That's what happens with the idea of "illegal immigrants do the jobs that Americans wouldn't" that's ridiculous. The problem lies in the fact that American workers have rights (just like we do here) you know minimum wage and certain benefits. This turns out into something really close to slavery for the illegal workers and poverty and unemployment for the American citizens.

I know that this article might seem like I take sides with the "gringos" and I "don't understand" that at the end of it all, we can't take the blame for our goverment's lack of actions, either. But I've flipped the coin and lived on the other side and let me tell you that it's not fair for anyone, because it's easy to point a finger and misjudge. Try to take the stand of the neighboring country, I'm sure that none of us would like illegal immigrants to come here, causing poverty and unemployment, just so we could pay the broken dishes of another nation who ignores its people.

Deep...

"If you go in for argument, take care of your temper. Your logic, if you have any, will take care of itself."

- Joseph Farrell

A few days ago I got into this entire controversy over gay marriage, and what angers me isn't so much the justification of opinions by using what God supposedly thinks is right from wrong, it isn't so much the intolerance towards gay people that many people exhibit, and it isn't so much that people aren't open to other lifestyles. *cough21centurycough*

Let's take a look at our country for an instance. We have a long way to go before they can finally rule that gay and lesbian people have the same rights as everyone else, including the right to marriage... I know that they made it "legal" in Mexico City, but what irritates me the most is that the word they refer to that ceremony is still pending and they will possibly leave it as it is forever. They're never going to decide if "marriage" can be included onto the right that courts have finally granted them.

What irritates me the most is that people make such a fuss over ONE word.

Imagine if in 1953, women finally received the deserved right to vote, but men didn't like the idea of calling it "voting" and decided instead to call it a "formal notification of interests."

Imagine if when Germany issued its formal apology to the world and the Jewish community for the atrocities committed during the Holocaust, that they didn't want to call it "apology" and decided instead to say "oh, it was PMS."

So, do imagine the ridiculousness, the idiocy, the small-minded attitude it takes to finally grant the gay community their right to marriage, but to dislike the idea of calling it "marriage" that it's decided to instead call it a "civil union".

Words mean a lot to all of us, especially when one group of us had it before some other group decided to make it their own, too. Marriage is not the sacred word it's made out to be, and allowing the word's meaning to be used by others does not mean, that a man marrying a man or a woman marrying a woman will suddenly bring out the ravaging atrocities or morals down.There are deeper things to take a look at here, and it most certainly is not because of one eight-lettered word. I would call it "resentment or fear of change and devolpment" but someone people might dislike the idea of it and decide instead to call it "tradition."

Pet peeve... ugh.

Do you know what one of my absolute worst pet peeves is? To the point of making me physically reel back in disgust and either tell you to stop or do everything in my power to drown the sound out?

Listening to people chew and smack on their food.

No matter who it is, it is the most vile, revolting, freakishly nasty sound imaginable. Especially when I have to look at your face full of shiny, moist, half-chewed up food as it squishes and sloshes around in your mouth. It makes my ears twitch and cringe, and I literally want to rip them off and shove them in the holes so I don't have to hear the sound for another second.

People, please stop, it's so...disgusting.

I'm mean, yeah.

Just like a tattoo...

"[...]To admit that I’m wrong and then change my mind
Sorry but I have to move on and leave you behind.

[...]No need to worry about everything I’ve done

Live every second like it was my last one."

The symbol is the japanese kanji for "life", the flowers are cherry blossoms.

The tattoo stands for the japanese philosphy of the cherry trees blooming.

Everything comes to pass, nothing comes to stay.

That's my view on life, the petals falling stand for the hardships we encounter and even if we sometimes hit bottom and feel like we can't go on, we have to understand that nothing is permanent; pain is inevitable, suffering isn't, and instead of sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves, we should enjoy life, live each day like it's the last one, don't regret anything.

That's why japanese people have festivals everytime the cherry trees bloom, they see the blossoms as life and the petals falling as the bad things that go away, that's why they celebrate it.

That's how I see it, too. That's the reason behind the tattoo.

"[...]You’re still a part of everything I do
You’re on my heart just like a tattoo
Just like a tattoo
l always have you."
~ Tattoo - Jordin Sparks

Almost 21

Yep! That's right! In 10 days I'll be 21.

And even if it's just 21, I feel like, since I turned 15, that the years have gone by so fast. I mean, I know, I'm only in my early twenties I have a lot to live yet, but still, being 15 is not like being 21, y'know?

I've come to certain conclussions about being 20-something. Here they are:

• Our group of friends is becoming gradually smaller.
• We tend to see each other less because of the different and busy schedules: work, school, etc...
• We start to enjoy small, quiet get-togethers, like dinners, a bar or the coffee shop. Crowds are not "as fun" as they used to be and we even tend to feel uncomfortable.
• We can see who our real friends are and those that have never been.
• We laugh harder, but cry with less tears and with more pain. We get broken hearts and wonder how that person that we loved so much could've hurt us so bad.
• Or maybe we lay awake at night thinking why can't we meet someone that's interesting enough to get us hooked.
• At times, it seems like everyone we know has been together for years and even some of them are starting to get married.
• Dating and one-night stands are becoming boring and getting drunk and act like an idiot seems a lot more stupid.
• Going out three times a weekend sounds exhausting and it means a lot to our small budget.
• We ponder about our jobs and it may not even be close to what we thought we'd be doing. Or we may be looking for a job and we know we have to start from scratch and that might seem scary at first.
• We look at what everyone else is doing and we start judging a little more than we used to.
• Sometimes we might feel great and invincible, others... alone, scared and confused.
• We try to understand ourseleves, about what we want or don't want. Our opinions become stronger.
• There are times when we try to cling on to the past, but we realize that the past if just further and further away and we have no option but to move forward.
• We worry about the future, loans and money and to make a life of our own.

Like I told you, it seems like just yesterday that we were 15... does that mean that tomorrow we'll be 30? Just like that?!

Life is not measured by the times we breath, but by the moments that leave us breathless.

OMG!!1... I have so much...

...catching up to do.

You may probably be wondering what that last entry was about, well... I just went through a reaaaally bad break-up in an on-and-off four years relationship, but hey! everything's cool now, everything's moving on, just like it should. Life goes forward, not backward and I have to learn how to ... be a man! haha and keep it strong.

Oh God! I have no idea what to talk about, I guess it'll flow on its own, right?... right? haha.

It's 8:09 AM and I have to start getting ready to go to work... bummer! I wish I could sleep in on Saturdays, y'know? Mostly because I'm always staying up late on Friday. I'm so sleepy -_-

How do I do this? How do I pull out of my sleeve like almost 10 entries so I won't have to do 16 SAC hours?

I should've been less of a procrastinator. Now I HAVE to work magic to finish it all.

This was a wasted entry, I never found something to talk about today, I'm not in the mood and yes! even if I have like 18218328372 million entries to do, I have to be in the right mood to write something in here.

and no... I don't copy/paste entries from other places and if I do, I also add my own comments to makes this as original as I can, and my English is a good English, good enough to make a coherent post, and bah! Yes, I'm probably being cocky about it.

omg.. I'm ranting.. haha, this is so much fun.

I'm tired of being ignored in most of my classes because I already know English and should give the others the opportunity to participate, pleeeeease... if you haven't learned English in these past 3 years that we've been there, what makes you think that one more year is going to make the difference.

Try to have a coherent and fluid conversation and then you can come and tell me that I'm arrogant. That's what people would tell me when I was learning English and believe me, it worked.

Don't be so self-conscious, it'll never take you anywhere.

and no... I'm not making fun of you nor your English everytime I laugh.

Get over it already!

Sincerely.

Perla Mtz.

P.S. I secretely like my English haha